HEY THERE
Hi again,
It’s been a while since I have taken time to get in touch with what I love: writing.
I didn’t really know if there would be a time or place when I would come back, if I ever would “blog” again. Welp, here I am and I surely don’t know where this may lead. However, there is so much freedom, joy, and purpose I find in writing, sharing, inspiring, and creating. The dialogue is healing for me, and if it inspires and reaches even just one person, that’s all I could ever ask for.
There has been a pull on my heart to find healing and purpose on this platform again. My soul has been craving this. Today is the day I say yes. Yes to opening back up my arms and to see where this creative outlet takes me.
So, let me just reintroduce myself.
Living in a college town in Texas with some of my best friends while studying Accounting and Entrepreneurship has been one of my greatest blessings; and, a journey of personal growth. A lot of my days in Texas revolve around getting intentional time with God and myself on my walks, attending class, connecting with professors, studying, being around my dear friends, and also simply enjoying time alone.
I spend lots of time calling back home, to my parents, and to Hunter, my joy.
I spent the summer in the beautiful state I call home, Colorado. I was keeping myself busy as a bee, taking (way too many) online classes – clearly I don’t know what taking a break means.
Every day I find myself begging for peace and rest. Even with all the things I've learned through my healing, I have still to this day struggled finding rest and stillness. There seems to be an extreme hold on the hustle culture in our generation and I struggle to let myself free from it.
Life has been a little messy; like a constant tornado just keeps plowing through. Each day I get a step closer to feeling at ease back in Texas. Just by doing little things everyday to make me feel calm, at peace, and in control (maybe that’s causing anxiety… we will get to that another day).
I feel peace in hearing the birds sing, the river glisten, the sun kiss my cheeks, and the breath of fresh air on my walks and runs. I enjoy my coffee and matcha. My nights consist of dessert (always), tea, lit candles, and soft music.
Yet, I am still paralyzed by my perfectionist mindset. Inhibiting my ability to show up, to hit send or submit, or even just start because it’s not “perfect” or right. I’ve had this blog post just constantly being drafted for the last 5 months… adding, taking a way, rereading. I was in the midst of revamping and building my website all on my own, learning as I go.
I was so worried that every piece of this website building puzzle had to be in perfect place before I could even launch or post a re-introduction. I was figuring out how to keep as much as possible from my old and bringing it to my new design. Let me say, having no experience with website building, it’s been filled with trial and error. I was also so antsy to finally use a name that has been kept in my notes app for years, accumulating and swarming with ideas. Of course it’s going to be a continued process, which I love, forcing me to take that pressure off of perfection.
Today, I finally said, heck, just post the dang thing. I will have many more opportunities to say what is on my heart. It doesn’t all need to be in one post. Nor does it need to be perfect and encapsulate every single feeling, experience, thought, lesson, memory, adventure, anything that has happened in the last 15 months since I last wrote here.
Blogging seems so expansive and I felt constrained by the “do’s” and “don'ts” of what it is, however, I am going to do it my way, like a journal or a text to a best friend. A platform filled with creativity, authenticity, hope, and opportunities. We are growing here together.
xox,
j